| REDONK! |
[28 Sep 2009|10:32am] |
Oh wow, it has been a bit since I've written in here. I need to though. I need to vent. SO much is happening in my life. I wish my family would just go on Jerry Springer and get over it. I moved 2000miles away from my family and I STILL have to worry about all their crap. It's so hard. I'm still debating on whether or not I actually want to share what's going on. Blarghity Blargh Blargh...
Ok.. well, my sister is 21 years old now. She has had a pretty tough life. She has had a speech impediment and learning disabilities her entire life. She was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck 3 times, and some people think that's why she is the was she is.. due to loss of oxygen to her brain and such. So anyways, she has always lived with our parents. She never learned how to drive, and she had never lived on her own because my parents where just too scared to let her. Sharon, my sister, has had soo much help through life that now she automatically asks for help with anything before she tries to do it herself. She is NOT stupid, she just has everyone fooled that she needs so much help.
Where was I going with this... oh yeah..
My parents were married for 24 YEARS and then on Valentines day of this year my Mom decided to tell my Dad that she never really loved him and that since we (the kids) are all grown up now she can leave the relationship and have her own life. It was really sudden and weird. My Dad had NO CLUE that she was going to do that. But he told her that he loved her, and whatever made her happy made him happy. So my sister lived with them during all of this. It was pretty hard on her. My dad, mom , sister, and brother all worked at the same place. So that didn't make things any easier on dad. He had to work with my mom while they were seperating. So my dad had some high blood pressure spell and fainted at work. He was rushed to the hospital, but my mom never went. She didnt care whether he was ok or not. That was hard for me to take. But my dad was given a month off for medical leave. In that month off he moved back to TX. They were living in Missouri, but my dad's mom (my grandma) is the owner of a courier bussiness in Texas, so he moved down there to work for her.
So my sister went to live with my mom at her friends house, and my dad moved away. And then we all found out that my mom had a boyfriend... some guy that they all worked with. I was pretty crushed. Like, I want my mom to be able to 'find herself' and 'live her life' but she was CHEATING on my dad.. and she introduced her new boyfriend as her 'new friend'... then I saw them kissing behind my back. It was very frustrating.
Well my poor sister had to live with my mom through all this. I decided to move to TX and be with my dad. He said he would help us out and my boyfriends dad said he would get him a job down there too. Well, we thought everything would be great so we asked Sharon to come down to TX and we would help her to live on her own. Sharon also has tons of friends down there from highschool too. So Sharon came down and lived with us in Dads 2 bedroom apt for a week and then went to live with her friend and her friends new baby. She walked and found a job too! She was doing soo well on her own, but I guess it was just too much for her to take. It was really hot, so she hated walking (but did it anyways because she's a trooper!) and she was getting kinda sick of being the new built-in babysitter for her friend. I didn't get to go over and hang out with her as much as I wanted too, but she was doing really well on her for her first time. Then, out of nowhere, she decided to call a suicide hotline and had the cops come and get her. She was thrown into Harris County Mental Hospital and I had to go and get her a few days later. She acted like nothing was wrong. She has to take tons of meds for depression, and I guess when she moved to TX she didn't have a way to get meds anymore. So she said called the hotline so she could be admitted and get some meds for free. So I just thought everything was ok. See, Sharon is depressed and has crazy flashbacks because, from what I've been told, she was raped by my uncle when she was 16. She has not had an easy life.
Well, things didn't work out for Matt and I in TX. Matt never got the job with his dad, and we couldnt get a place of our own. So we moved back to WA. Matt was able to get a job at Serve Pro with his old highschool buddy. but unfortunatly we had to leave Sharon down there on her own. I know my dad should help her out, but he had so much going on in his life that he just wanted her to be able to be on her own.
Well, after we came up to WA, Sharon decided to call the hotline again. This time she was gone for 2 weeks. They locked her up and doped her up. So my mom, in Missouri, freaked out and drove down to TX on her birthday, with her new boyfriend, to go pick Sharon up and take to my moms moms (my Granny) in Minnesota becuase they have great medical and mental disability benefits for people like her. I was pretty upset that my mom did that. My dad had already gotton sharon a ticket to Missouri and was going to pick her up from the hospital. but I guess my dad wouldnt tell my mom what was happening because she kept downgrading him and making him feel worthless. she called him a dead beat dad and said he needed to step up and be a man. i was so mad about that because he was taking care of me, my boyfriend, my duaghter, my sister, and my brother all in his 2 bedroom apt... while trying to have a life of his own and get over a nasty seperation. Ugh.. so my mom went and got my sister. but during all of it, wanted to have lunch with my dad. come to find out, my mom wanted to corner my dad and tell him that he raped my sister, not my uncle. I am soo shocked to hear this. I haven't been able to talk to my mom or my sister about it. I don't even know if it's true. I just know that my mom told a mutual friend of hers and my dad that she was going to get my dad cornered at lunch and accuse him of raping my sister. It drives me crazy to think about that. I guess my dad never went to lunch with my mom because their friend called my dad and told him what my mom said. I haven't really been able to talk to my dad for the past week. I'm pretty sick over all of this. I don't really want to talk to anyone in my family. I'm almost done with them all. I love them, but fuck... I don't need all this stress. I am GOING CRAZY over all of this. Anytime I think about my dad I cringe. I sooo hope these things aren't true, but why would sharon just make this up? because she's crazy? because she wants attention? because it's true? i don't know what to think. All I know is my dad has 6 boxes of my stuff to send and I hope he sends them soon.
I can't believe I wrote all of that. There are a few minor details spared, but it's no biggy.
I think I have vented enough. It's not easy to talk about this stuff at all.
sigh...
life can be so REDONK!
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| Hooplah! |
[27 Aug 2009|10:49pm] |
So here I am in Washington again, again, again... but this time it's great!
I have a job, Matt is starting work next week, our rent is cheap, and we have a 2003 Sunfire to drive. I drove around by myself for a while today, just to get to know the area better, and I learned a lot more about where I am. It was so beautiful. Driving down I-5 from Federal Way towards South Center has such a gorgeous view of the mountains when the sky is clear. I'm going to go out so much more this time around. I told Matt that if he doesn't take me out more then there will be big problems! I think he understands that I mean business... so here we go!
I do miss my friends from Texas... and I wish we could have seen Jason while we were down there...
I guess I'll see you again some day... damn it! =p
OH yeah, go watch PONYO! It's one of those movies that made me cry during the entire film due to how beautiful it was. Ava loved it too!
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| Not much to say... |
[14 Jan 2009|04:20pm] |
Im still in Missouri... blah.
Matt still doesn't have a job.
Ava is potty trained!
We should be moving back to Washington in a month or so.
I'm bored.
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| ... |
[18 Nov 2008|03:51pm] |
So um, not too much to say. I have to say that living out in the middle of nowhere gets boring to say the least. We have to drive 15 miles to get to civilization. Things wont be so bad when Matt is working too.
Ava will be 3 yrs old on the 28th. She is super smart. I love it.
She's sings allll the time. Oh and she's finally potty trained. She decided on day that she would use it. It was amazing. Woot for that.
I have a feeling that we will be moving back to Washington by the end of next year.
I know that Matt and I are going to the Comic Con in Seattle. I'm pretty sure that's happening in April. That should be a blast.
Ok, my life is far too boring to continue documenting.
Buh Byez
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| Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-CHANGEZ! |
[06 Sep 2008|10:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 curious |
] |
Oh yeah, I went to HempFest.. that was soooo awesome! I'm so glad I went!^^
But now I'm in Missouri. Matt and I have been given a 2 bedroom house that is out in the country. I love it.Our house is at the end of a road, if you pass our house you're dead. There is a cliff with a 60ft drop about 50ft from the place. We have a great view and we are out in the middle of nowhere. The house does need some work tho. We have been painting it and putting up trim. Today we'll try to get everything finished up so we can start living there. I need to get a job this week. But getting a job shouldnt be too difficult considering my Grandpa GAVE me a VAN! Hellz yeah! Free Vehicle FTW! Staying with my parents isn't all that bad. Free food and free child care is AWESOME! Things just might work out this time.
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| sadness |
[15 Aug 2008|11:26am] |
damn it! i broke my fuckin pipe! ive had that pipe for 4 years and its the only pipe i have! OMG! i'm sooooo sad..... =(
hempfest is this weekend... i'm sure matt wont take me, so i just might hop on a bus and go myself. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING FUN! FUCK! This would be a good way for me to get to Seattle. =P
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| Better than Tony Danza! |
[07 Jul 2008|11:40am] |
HAd a good weekend. Got drunk. Woot!
Here's my 'Hold Me Closer Tiny Vader' video.
For anyone who hasn't seen this yet, Enjoy!
Tiny Vader
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| the suck |
[26 Jun 2008|04:17pm] |
i hate being alone all day.
no one visits, emails, or calls me.
all i have are kids to play with..
some pot and a job would do wonders for me right about now.
oh and i wish i was pretty.
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| Any Input Anyone? |
[23 Jun 2008|01:19pm] |
So now we want to move back to H-Town...
How the fuck are we going to do this?!
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| always lonely but never alone |
[22 Jun 2008|12:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
i woke up all alone on the couch again this morning.
matt is being really shitty to me today too.
i wish i had a job..
and i wish i had some pot.
i'm hanging out by myself in jeremys room..
i don't feel like being around matt...
one minute he loves me because im 'so beautiful',
the next minute he thinks im a bitch for being so brutaly honest about shit.
whatever.. maybe i'm better off alone. -_-
no one really seems to like me anyways.
god damn, having a friend would be cool.
having a job where people actually like me we be even better though.
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| nonsense of nothingness |
[21 Jun 2008|01:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
i have been sleeping alone a lot lately.. -_-
i fall asleep on the couch watching matt play mgs4, then when he goes to bed he doesn't wake me up to tell me. sad things is, i'm getting used to it. i don't really mind sleeping on the couch. it's no different than sleeping with him really. i just dont have to wake up to children throwing blocks at me, or matt forcing me to get up with them and make everyone breakfast and coffee and clean it all up. and it seems matt prefers to sneak away and turn on some porn rather than try to turn me on anyways... so it's not like i'm missing out on any action by sleeping alone.
on other news: the trip to idaho was fun once we got there (i dealt with a lot of crying from ava but whatever), leahs wedding was really awesome and super expensive, our car died on the drive home from idaho, no one will hire me, we are broke, the car is still broken, matt hates his job and complains about it constantly, damien is here till aug. 13th, and my parents want to move me back to missouri.
i need to go smoke a bowl right about now so i can continue pretending that everything is fine.
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| Damn.. |
[05 Jun 2008|10:20pm] |
I've been toying with FL again.. a bit.
My thoughts today:
*imagine this said with Captain Kirk's voice; make sure to emphasise the beginning of every word, and pause for a new line*
I
have been
doing this
for 2 years
and..
I feel
that
I'm not
as good
as
I should be
by now.
For realz
yo
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| WoW! |
[23 May 2008|03:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 shocked |
] |
I got Ava to take a NAP today!!!
This is the first time she has taken nap in over a month!
Too bad i'm potless...
=P
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| Wow... I'm so glad we have a PS3! |
[23 May 2008|11:19am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots looks BAD ASS!!!
This game is going to be way too fun!
And it's so fuckin BIG!
I can't WAIT!!!
Those with 360's will be missin out!
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| anyone? pot? huh? POT?! |
[21 May 2008|08:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
pot?! yes?!1?
oh wait, no.
sigh.. I want some pot...
GIVE ME SOME POT!!!
that is all...
(damn. i have a feeling that wont get me anywhere..)
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